


"It's my fault."

by KennyyMccormiick



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Childhood Friends, Rape, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Trans Character, Trans Kyle Broflovski, Trans Male Character, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 17:13:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30075564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KennyyMccormiick/pseuds/KennyyMccormiick
Summary: There's a late night party at some guys house the boys junior year of high school. It all goes well, until something happens to Cartman, and he's out the door and gone. Nobody worries, until the boys come to get him to play video games, and catch his suicide attempt.They find out what happened that night.And as much as they dislike Cartman at times, they wanted to help.
Kudos: 10





	"It's my fault."

The music is loud, it's so loud. It's blaring into ears to the point where it almost feels like it's trying to make you go deaf. It's not very nice, to say the least, but most of the attendants at this party are either too intoxicated or having too much fun to care about the deafening music. 

The people at the party are mostly teens from South Park High School, such as Butters Stotch, Stan Marsh, Tweek Tweek, Kyle Broflovski, Kenny Mccormick, and most memorable of all, Eric Cartman, one of the most, if not the most, obnoxious tennager that goes to that horrid high school. Nobody can stand him, yet, somehow, there are some people that will call him a friend. It's always confused the brunette a lot, but he never thinks too much about friendship anyways. 

The boy in the red button up finds himself wandering aimlessly around the silly old house that the party is being held in. His mind is blank, unlike it usually is. The music is too loud to think anymore. The chubby teen notices his friends around. Kyle and Stan are kissing on the couch, per usual. 

Those two seem pretty much inseparable at this point. They became so close in middle school, and began dating in the eighth grade. They are juniors now, and it's been a couple years since the two began going out, but Kyle and Stan just never left one another's side. It was good that they had a nice relationship, but sometimes, cartman wished he could be that close to someone. He knows it won't happen, probably for a long time, considering he's a literal menace to everyone he comes into contact with. 

That thought leaves his head just as quick as it came, seeing Tweek in the corner shaking about and having random shouting outbursts, which was normal for him to have, so no surprise there. Cartman instinctively opens his mouth to yell something at him, but his mouth closes just as fast when a body bumped into him, pushing him into the hallway that was near the main party area. 

"Hey, what the hell bastard?!" The teen screams, only to see that there was not a person there in sighs. Well, there was, but it wasn't anyone that looked guilty of pushing him anyways. He came to the quick and most reasonable conclusion, that someone accidentally bumped into him as they were dancing. Psh, he should have known that! Ugh. 

The teen glances down the dim hallway, looking along the wall as he wandered. There were pictures of the party host's family lined up and down the walls. They were all smiling and honestly, it creeped Eric out a bit. It all felt really.. odd. This whole situation felt off, but he couldn't put his finger on it.. hm… 

The dim lighting in the hallway made his stomach turn. It annoyed him, and made him frustrated almost, because he never felt like this. But deep down, deep deep down in the pit of his stomach, there was something clearly wrong with the situation he was in, even if it didn't seem like much. I mean, he was just strolling down a small hallway, there shouldn't be much to it, right? 

Right..?

There's a feeling somewhere at the bottom of his stomach, which he knows isn't being scared or anything like that. Fat boy just needs to take a piss, is all. 

With that, Cartman makes his way down the hallway slowly, in case there's someone in one of these rooms that has plans for romance that night with their partner, or someone is sleeping. Usually he isn't very cautious about these things, because frankly, he could honestly care less about the shitheads around him, but right now, there's something nagging at him to be quiet, and he usually wouldn't listen to it, but it feels needed right now. 

It feels so out of character for a bitch like Cartman, but he genuinely doesn't feel right in this situation. 

Eventually, Eric finds a cracked open door with a small light inside at the end of the rather long hallway (it wasn't very long, but with the dread settling in, that's what it felt like). 

There's a couple minutes that go by before Cartman is leaving the bathroom once more, trying to button the top of his pants as he stumbles from the rather cramped bathroom. There wasn't a lot of room in there, but that might just be because he's 'big boned'. 

To be honest though, since they were kids, Cartman has been able to lose some weight. It surprised a lot of kids, and they thought he was starving himself. That was a fun conversation to have with the counselor, but that wasn't happening whatsoever. He just.. finally decided to get his life right. Now, not entirely of course, this was Eric Cartman we were talking about, he wouldn't do anything to its fullest, but some of the weight was gone and he was sure fucking happy for that. 

Without even realizing that there was someone outside of the bathroom door, Cartman ran into a tall, very tall in fact, man who was standing firm. He was standing so stiff to the point where it knocked the teen back a little bit, making him stumble back into the bathroom. His eyebrows furrowed softly as he stared up at the tall man. 

He notices the man has blonde hair, long and messy and nearly long enough to be considered a mullet. He didn't have much facial hair, it was rather patchy in fact with the small bit he did have. His eyes were a grey color, having this dull aura to them. The man wore a pair of dirty, very much torn, blue jeans, and a black and grey button up that was missing a few buttons. 

The shocked teen had never seen this man before, not even at the party, but then again, there were so many people here that it would be hard to keep track of everyone. But you think with a man as tall as he was, you would recognize him..

And then it hit him. 

Cartman may have not known this man was here, but his instincts did, and they were telling him to leave before he saw this guy. 

But it was all too late now. 

The man was here, and Eric had to find a way out. 

"Hey dickhead, can you move?" The brunette snapped, looking into the other man's eyes as brave as he could. He was terrified right now- he didn't know what to do. But Eric usually wasn't one to chicken out, so he was going to stand his ground and hope for the best. 

But maybe calling this tall, scary man a dickhead wasn't the best move. 

There was a quick pressure on his chest before he was knocked onto his ass by the man. Eric shouted a curse at him before looking at the floor and going to scramble up. His heart stopped immediately as he heard the door shut and a lock click. 

Oh fuck. 

Nonono-

This wasn't happening. 

This wasn't happening!!!

"Hey! HEY!! OPEN THE DOOR DAMNIT!! STOP STOP!!" Cartman is screaming at the top of his lungs now, hoping to get someone, literally anyone's attention, or to at least get the guy to snap out of it and to stop his actions. "HELP ME! HELP ME!"

But alas, screaming didn't help. The only thing that got him was a harsh smack to his white cheek. 

With his wits momentarily knocked out of him, the man took that opportunity to grab the teens arm and yank him up, bending him over the sink. It all happened so fast that it almost took Cartman a moment to even process it all. 

The full panic finally set into Cartman's brain, and he flipped shit. 

There was screaming, kicking, biting, trashing, and hitting, all in hopes of trying to get the man away and off of him. 

Though, with a kid that's as unfit as the teen was, his fighting didn't put up for much longer. 

Warm tears pricked into the corners of his eyes as he screamed more and kicked weakly, hoping to get someone to break through the door and save him, but alas, the music was too loud. Therefore, nobody was able to hear him. 

A loud cry escaped Cartman's lips as his pants were pulled past his hips and down his thighs, his boxers trailing right behind, leaving his genitals exposed to the cold hair of the bathroom. 

And to the man standing behind him. 

"Please sir please I'll do anything please-" Cartman begged, sobbing as he weakly tried to get away, but the man had a terribly strong grip onto the boy's chubby hips, feeling like it was piercing through his skin with how sharp the man's nails felt. They dug into his skin and felt like there were nails being driven into his skin. It hurt like a bitch. 

"Now you shut your fucking mouth right now. You make anymore noise and I'll murder you right now." The man snapped, grabbing a switchblade from his pocket and holding the blade to Cartman's neck, which made him shut up real fast. 

Hot tears and silent sobs escaped the weak boy's lips as he heard the blonde man's pants being unzipped behind him. He took the change to kick upwards in hopes that he would kick the guy in the dick and he could get away. But that wasn't the case, as the dude expected it, and the knife pressed right up to Cartman's neck as he moved back, avoiding the kick that was brought by the chubby kid. 

"You'll regret that you little bitch. Now be a good puppy and listen to me, got it? I don't want to have to kill a pretty boy like you." The man says, leaning in so that he could whisper to Cartman up close. 

Too scared to move, the brunette took what was coming to him. He let his head fall down as he squeezed his eyes shut tight, fresh tears falling down his now red cheeks from the smack and panic. 

And that's when he felt it. 

It was a searing pain that ran right from his behind all the way up his spine, making him scream through gritted teeth in utter agony. 

That earned him a smack to his backside. A harsh smack that immediately left a handprint and left Cartman sobbing over the sink. 

Why was this happening? This was all because of his past actions, wasn't it? It was because he fucked up so much in his past and this is karma, huh? It's his fault that this is happening, he should have been better he should have been better-

Eric couldn't think anymore as that pain continued, but eventually, there was nothing. No pain or anything. It was numb. It was an odd feeling, considering he was just feeling so much in that instant. Everything felt blurry and the room spun. He couldn't feel anything. No emotion, no pain, no nothing.

He didn't understand. 

Minutes after minutes went by, but they felt like hours, or even days to the mentally drained teen who was still quite painfully pressed up against the sink, the imprint of the counter making a mark on the fat of his stomach. It wasn't pleasant, but Cartman knew not to move, he knew not to fight. The man still had his knife in hand and he could kill the brunette at any moment, so Cartman didn't want to risk it. 

The teen finally gets the courage to look up in the mirror that he's been placed in front of while this has been going on. He sees the swollen hand print that has been imprinted on his face now, and his eyes are red and puffy also. Tears still are falling down his cheeks- he didn't even realize it. His brown, usually neatly kept, hair is all over the place now, and it looks like he was just swept up in a tornado and spit back out. He catches a small glimpse of what was going on in the back and immediately his head is back to facing the sink, and all those emotions come back to him. Soft sobbing fills the room again along with the smacking noises of the horrid act going on in that filthy fucking bathroom. He feels so gross right now, so so gross. 

And he knows it's his fault. 

Too quickly he was brought out of his thinking state and was thrown to the floor, a sticky liquid spilling into the floor. He watched as the man above him zipped up his pants and shoved the knife back in his pocket. He looked down at the helpless teen on the floor, smirking to himself. 

He kneels down in front of Cartman, grabbing his chin roughly and placing a disgusting kiss to his chapped lips, making Cartman gag internally, yet, he didn't fight in from fear of what might happen if he did. 

Once the man pulled away, he leans in to his ear and whispers, "Now you be my good little puppy and don't tell anyone, got it?" The man says, gripping Cartman's face tighter and tighter with every word spoken. 

"Y..Yes sir." Cartman says softly, looking at the floor. Another blow was given to his other cheek and was shoved away once more by the man, but didn't look up at him nor did he spit insults. Instead, he stares nervously at the floor, vomit building in his throat. 

The man stands, looking at the helpless high schooler sitting there. He laughs, shaking his head at him. 'Such a weak young lad,' he thinks to himself, 'needs to work out more. But he's cute.' 

The man turns to leave, but Cartman's voice interrupts. 

"I don't want to talk to you anymore than we already have, but I want to know why."

"What what?"

"Why you raped me." 

The man laughs once more, which makes Cartman look up at him. Tears have appeared in his eyes again, and he gives a shaky breath. Why did he do this..? 

"It was your fault, kid. It always will be, too."

The door opens, and the man leaves. 

Cartman can't help but puke up what he had eaten that night into the white porcelain that was sitting next to him in that bathroom. He felt utterly horrible, disgusting and disgusted, he can't even think anymore. 

The brunette pulls up his pants, not worrying about cleaning himself up, but much rather just getting out of there now. He doesn't want it to happen again, nonono. 

He stands on shaking legs, hurrying down the hallway fast, as much as it hurt him from the events from before. But he doesn't want to be trapped by another man, or anyone for that matter. He doesn't want to see anyone or make eye contact with anyone. He wants to leave, and that's exactly what he's doing. Leaving. 

And that's what he does. Cartman leaves. 

It's cold outside, but he didn't bother to try and find his jacket in the whole mess of the house party. It was too much for him to think about, and to be honest, it was the least of his worries. 

He just wants to be home, safe.

𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘮𝘦! 𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘮𝘦! 𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘮𝘦, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦!

**Author's Note:**

> Uh I don't know what to say?? But I changed users and stuff and so did I on insta. It's @kennyymccormiick now, so dm me for questions or anything!!


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